Your Mobile has Been Reported Stolen

Someone has reported their mobile as being stolen and they receive an automated message telling them their mobile will be cut off in five minutes…

The Sexual Disease Clinic

How would you feel if a doctor from the National Sexually Transmitted Diseases Control Unit rang you up, only to tell you that you have been named by an ex-lover and have a strong possibility of having contacted the dreadful Zachary Syndrome? It’s not pretty and has an unusually painful treatment…

Is Quentin there?

The victim will get a call from someone looking for a chap called Quentin. She’s pretty rude when she hears it’s a wrong number. Then when they put the phone down they immediately get another call from someone looking for Quentin and another and another until they finally get a call from Quentin who is very pissed off that the victim hasn’t taken any messages…

The Phone Engineer

They get an automated call from the local phone exchange as someone has reported their phone number (it reads it to them) as being faulty. They are informed that it will need to be tested by the local exchange voice calibration system, could they repeat a few dodgy words and phrases…

I’m returning your call..

A quick fire joke that results in multiple calls from the same guy and he is not a happy bunny because he is right in the middle of something…

Automated Order Confirmation Service

The victim gets a call confirming their “order” from a dodgy internet site. Somehow they have got his name and are going to deliver the dodgy items to his home today in five minutes. This wind up plays the victim their own name and the current date and time.

Hi – You’re Live on the Radio!

It’s a radio producer and they are going to be live on the radio in 30 seconds because an ex-partner of theirs has rung in on the show and answered three questions. If they get them right they win a luxury holiday with the mystery ex-partner. Oh and please don’t swear because it’s live!

The Dating Agency

They get an automated call from the dating agency because someone signed them up and registered a voice mailbox for them. Their advert has already attracted some messages from likely partners. The system then plays the messages and asks them to record some responses…

It’s Reality TV!

Someone has dropped out at the last minute and they need a replacement who is game for a laugh, have you got clean pants on?